Fair to both parents. Nothing hidden from either.
If your co-parent has asked you to use Coparency, it’s reasonable to wonder whether it’s being set up to build a case against you. It isn’t built for that. Here is exactly what it does, who sees what, and why it treats both of you the same.
Co-parenting, with transparency.
That’s what “Coparency” means, and it’s the rule the app is built on. Both parents use the same app, under the same rules, and can see how it works. There is no side of Coparency that works for one parent against the other.
Its only purpose is to help two parents keep conflict down and keep the focus on their children.
Same app, same rules, for both of you.
An invitation doesn’t give the person who sent it any control over you or over the record. Here is what joining means.
- Nothing either of you sends can be edited or deleted afterwards — not by your co-parent, not by you, and not by us.
- You see everyone who has access to your shared space, including any professional or family member your co-parent invites.
- You choose how much help you want from Peacekeeper, our AI assistant, from none at all to full coaching. Your co-parent chooses separately for themselves.
- Your weekly reflections, folders, bookmarks and settings are yours alone. Your co-parent never sees them.
- Every account starts with a free month, with no credit card. After that it’s $7.99 a month or $75 a year — or your co-parent can cover you with a two-seat plan.
- You can decline. The invitation page lets you say no, and your co-parent is simply told you declined.
Rather not install another app? Your co-parent can set Coparency up so you keep replying by email. How email forwarding works
The questions parents actually ask.
“Is this being set up to build a case against me?”
Coparency doesn’t take sides or keep score. The record is the same for both parents: every message, from both of you, in order, exactly as it was sent. No one can edit or delete anything to change the story, and you can export the whole conversation yourself at any time, so if anything is ever shown out of context, you can show the rest.
Exports contain the record itself: messages with their times and read receipts, and calendar and expense history showing who did what and when. They never include AI tone scores or labels about either parent.
“Will my silence be held against me?”
Not replying straight away is normal. Coparency may remind you privately that a message is waiting, but that reminder is only ever shown to you, never to your co-parent. If you’re travelling or need a break, set yourself as away: reply-time expectations pause until you’re back, including in any response times a professional sees. Your co-parent never sees that you’re away.
“Will it be used to keep tabs on me?”
Coparency never tracks your location. The only time it records one is when you check in at an exchange yourself, and only if you allow it. It has no hidden viewers: everyone with access is listed in your shared space. Read receipts work the same way for both of you, so each parent can see when a message has been read.
If either of you invites a professional, such as a mediator, they see the same factual view of both parents’ communication, side by side. Neither parent gets a special view of the other.
“Is an AI going to judge me?”
Peacekeeper helps each parent with their own words: a tone check before you send, and optional protection for what you receive. You choose how much of it you want, including none. It never shows your co-parent a score, rating or summary of your tone, and it never labels anyone the “problem parent.”
Protection is each parent’s own choice for what they receive. If your co-parent turns it on, a harsh message may reach them softened or behind a notice — and the same option is there for you.
A record neither parent can rewrite.
Locked once sent
Messages can’t be edited or deleted after they’re sent, by anyone. Timestamps and read receipts are recorded as it happens.
One record, shared
Both parents see the same messages, calendar and expenses, and either of you can export any of them, as a PDF or, for expenses, a spreadsheet.
No problem parent
The same tools and the same rules apply to both of you. Nothing in Coparency is designed to single out one parent.
No scoreboard between parents
Neither parent can see the other’s tone scores, trends or reflections. Where both of you see something, like the overall climate, it’s the same neutral view.
No hidden audience
Everyone with access to your space is listed there, and professionals see both parents the same way.
Leaving doesn’t erase the past
If a parent deletes their account, what they sent stays in the other parent’s record. Neither of you can wipe the history.
What researchers found, and how we answered it.
Researchers studying co-parenting apps have found real reasons for parents to be wary of them. We read that work and built Coparency to answer it.
The finding
Some parents feared the other parent would use an app to build a one-sided record. As one put it: “It is not a fair record.”
Our answer
In Coparency, no one can edit or delete a message, the record shows both parents’ messages in order, and either of you can export the whole of it.
Irving, M. (2024). Post-separation parenting apps in the context of family violence: Harm minimisation versus harm facilitation. Law, Technology and Humans, 6(1).The finding
An independent evaluation warned that some apps “might inadvertently fuel conflict, foster litigiousness, or become technologies of power, control, and abuse.”
Our answer
Coparency gives both parents identical tools, keeps each parent’s AI feedback private to them, and keeps AI judgments out of exports.
Smyth, B. M., Payne, J. L., Irving, M. & Heard, G. (2023). Popular post-separation parenting smartphone apps: An evaluation. Family Court Review, 61(3).The finding
The same evaluation noted that these apps hold highly personal information about children, such as names, ages and health details, which could be misused.
Our answer
We never sell your information, children’s photos and files are stored privately, and our privacy policy names every provider we use.
Smyth, B. M., Payne, J. L., Irving, M. & Heard, G. (2023). Family Court Review, 61(3).Research hasn’t shown that any app ends conflict on its own, and we won’t claim otherwise. What an app can do is make the rules the same for both parents and keep everything in the open.
Your information stays yours.
What we do with it
- There are no ads in Coparency, and we never sell your information.
- Peacekeeper uses Google Gemini and OpenAI, under terms that don’t allow them to train their models on your messages.
- Our staff don’t read your messages unless you ask us for help, we’re investigating abuse or a security problem, or the law requires it.
- You can delete your account in the app at any time.
How we protect it
- Information is encrypted in transit, and encrypted at rest by Google Cloud.
- Your family’s space is walled off: every request is checked against it.
- Photos and files are stored privately and shown only through links that expire.
- Your data is stored in the United States, on Google Cloud.
The full detail, including every provider we use and exactly what deleting an account removes, is in our privacy policy.
Straight answers, including the limits.
- Coparency is a tool, not a referee. It won’t end conflict on its own, and it doesn’t decide who is right.
- Whether a court accepts a record is up to the court. Coparency keeps a clear record and exports it cleanly, but doesn’t certify it or guarantee admissibility.
- Peacekeeper is automated. Its suggestions and flags can be wrong, and it can miss things.
- Coparency is not an emergency service. If anyone is in danger, contact emergency services.
This is the tool I wish I'd had when I needed it most.
My own high-conflict divorce taught me that existing co-parenting tools handled logistics — but ignored the emotional weight of every message. I built Coparency to fill that gap.
Frequently asked questions
Still have questions?
Email support@coparency.com and a person will answer. You can also read our privacy policy and terms.